Finding Balance: The Art of Assuming the Best and the Worst
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Chapter 1: The Dilemma of Assumptions
In our interactions, we often grapple with the question of how to perceive others. Should we always lean toward the positive, or is a more cautious approach warranted?
"You have to focus on the positive,
Disregard the negative,
Embrace the affirmative,
And avoid the gray areas."
~ Johnny Mercer
During a recent class on neuroscience and coaching, we delved into the construction of emotions and the brain's predictive processes. One of the attendees, a retired police officer with experience in human trafficking investigations, shared a thought-provoking perspective. When I posed the question of always assuming the best in people, he responded thoughtfully, "In my line of work, we referred to them as victims."
Initially, this response unsettled me, but it prompted deeper reflection. Believing that everyone has your best interests at heart can lead to being taken advantage of. As Wanda Pierce from Bojack Horseman wisely notes, "When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."
Section 1.1: The Cynic's Trap
Conversely, I have encountered individuals who consistently adopt a pessimistic outlook. Living with perpetual skepticism and negativity is equally detrimental. A cynical viewpoint often creates a toxic environment, leading to feelings of despair and distancing oneself from others.
Subsection 1.1.1: A Balanced Perspective
Chapter 2: Embracing Complexity
The real answer lies in navigating the nuanced space between these extremes. Acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of situations requires a more sophisticated approach.
In this video titled "Always Assume the Best," we explore the concept of viewing others through a lens of optimism, while also recognizing the potential pitfalls of this mindset.
Another insightful video, "Why You Should Assume Good Intent" by Mel Robbins, discusses the importance of a balanced view in our interactions with others.
To truly navigate the world effectively, one must engage their intuition. Evaluate your feelings about a person or situation. Have they been trustworthy in the past? How have similar situations unfolded for you? By taking the time to reflect, you can make more informed decisions.
I personally advocate for the middle ground, as it acknowledges that both recognizing the positive and confronting the negative are essential for a healthy and empowered life.
Learn more on The Good Men Project, where this article was originally published.
About Ann Betz
Ann Betz co-founded BEabove Leadership and specializes in the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, trauma, and human transformation. She is an international speaker and trainer, a writer on these topics, and a published poet with a passion for cats and meaningful connections. She continues to expand her knowledge on various aspects of human behavior.