generate a humorous take on Zuck's tumultuous week in tech
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Chapter 1: Zuck's Rollercoaster Ride
Hello, friends! Welcome to Bite Sized Beta, your spicy little nugget of tech news that disappears faster than a bag of Hot Cheetos.
Let’s dive into the juicy details of the week!
In the oven this week: ☠️ Zuck’s chaotic days 🗳️ Weekly poll: pick your favorite tech CEO 🍪 Cookie crumbs: 5 quick headlines 🍫 Chocolate chips: our top 3 picks 😂 Snickerdoodles: weekend meme roundup
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FRESHLY BAKED: ZUCK'S CHAOTIC WEEK
It seems like we’re on a carousel of tech CEOs facing fiery challenges. Who’s taking center stage today? That’s right, Zuck!
This week, Zuck has been riding the struggle bus hard. Let’s put it in layman’s terms: it was a week that felt like a bird dropped a present on your head, your car got vandalized, and your crypto wallet got hacked—all at once.
Here are the three major disasters:
- Layoff Central: Meta has turned into the Disneyland of layoffs, announcing their third round this week, primarily hitting the business side. The total number of employees let go now stands at 21,000 across three rounds. Zuck is serious about this being the Year of Efficiency… Live view of Zuck at work.
- Privacy Penalties: Meta received a staggering $1.3 billion fine for breaching EU data privacy regulations. Ireland’s Data Protection Commission ruled that user data from European Facebook members is not secure against U.S. spy agencies. They’ve ordered Meta to halt data transfers from Europe to the U.S., which could potentially shake up their advertising revenue.
- Giphy’s Goodbye: Remember Giphy? The GIF-sharing platform Meta bought for $400 million back in 2020? This week, regulators compelled Meta to divest Giphy due to antitrust issues. Guess who picked it up for a bargain? Shutterstock, snagging it for a mere $53 million. Next time you’re at a casino, think about that loss!
Better luck next week, Zuck!
POLL OF THE WEEK: CHOOSE YOUR PLAYER - BIG TECH CEO EDITION
While it’s tough to feel sympathy for wealthy CEOs, we want to know—if you had to pick one as your favorite, who would it be? Sound off below! 👇🏽
- Sundar (Google)
- Zuck
- Sam Altman (OpenAI)
- Satya (Microsoft)
- Elon (you know who)
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COOKIE CRUMBS: BITE-SIZED HEADLINES
- ChatGPT has launched its own iOS app and is now connected to the internet, just like Bard. Adds to home screen.
- Montana banned TikTok last week, and now TikTok is suing Montana for that decision. Creators are also filing lawsuits for First Amendment violations. The drama is real!
- In Thursday gossip, Jeff Bezos is reportedly engaged to his girlfriend Lauren Sánchez. Apparently, his yacht features a massive sculpture of her. Romantic or cringe? You decide!
- Speaking of Jeffs, Jeff Jordan is departing a16z after a remarkable 12 years, having led investments in eBay, Airbnb, and Instacart—one of the original venture legends.
- For those with peanut allergies, there’s hope! A new trial with 362 toddlers using a skin patch containing peanut protein found that 67% could eventually consume peanuts safely.
FROM THE COOKIE JAR: TWEET OF THE WEEK
A gentle reminder: sometimes all you need to do is keep showing up as your authentic self.
CHOCOLATE CHIPS: OUR TOP PICKS
- An executive coach shares tips on stepping away from the pursuit of status.
- Currently, only four cities offer cheaper home buying options compared to renting. In the Bay Area, buying costs double that of renting. RIP.
- Random life hacks: which AA batteries last the longest for those annoying smoke alarms!
SNICKERDOODLES: THURSDAY MEMES
😂
That wraps it up for this week, folks! See you next Thursday! If you enjoyed this, feel free to share it with a friend. We believe in spreading the love—no gatekeeping here! 🙏🏾
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Judson Laipply: Speaking Sample and The Struggle Bus Opening
A light-hearted look at how to navigate tough times, featuring Judson Laipply’s unique speaking style.
Strugglebus Go Basics - Joseki
An insightful introduction to the fundamentals of navigating challenges effectively in various contexts.