Understanding the True Meaning of Being the Bigger Person
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Chapter 1: Defining "Being the Bigger Person"
As I continue my journey, I am realizing that being the bigger person isn’t synonymous with offering endless forgiveness, regardless of what has transpired. It’s not about permitting someone to harm you repeatedly or giving them chances to walk all over you.
Being the bigger person entails mastering your emotions, particularly anger. It’s about coming to terms with the situation, even when you’re not entirely at peace with it. It requires a level of maturity that allows you to coexist in the same space as someone you can’t trust, someone you would prefer to avoid, while maintaining your composure.
Section 1.1: Misconceptions About Forgiveness
Being the bigger person doesn’t imply you must approach someone who has caused you pain and pretend that everything is alright. It doesn’t mean you should feel pleased about encountering them again. It certainly doesn’t require you to remain silent if they instigate trouble. Instead, it means you won’t allow them to disrupt your peace or ruin your day because they hold no significance in your life.
You have every right to remove toxic individuals from your phone contacts and unfollow them on social media. Taking measures to distance yourself from someone who has hurt you does not signify immaturity. You have the right to eliminate people from your life who only bring distress and heartache.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Strength in Walking Away
Section 1.2: Choosing Calm Over Confrontation
Do not fall into the trap of believing that being the bigger person necessitates forgiving those who have wronged you just to avoid lowering yourself to their level. In many cases, it requires the courage to walk away. What are the alternatives? Engaging in a heated argument? Seeking revenge? Sometimes, the most powerful action is simply to leave.
Even when you strive to cut someone out of your life, there will be instances when they reappear. Your social circles may overlap, and paths may intersect. In those moments, being the bigger person involves handling those encounters with tranquility. It might even mean choosing to turn around and walk away, refusing to engage with them.
Chapter 2: Maturity in Discomfort
Being the bigger person does not mean you have to endure uncomfortable situations. It simply means you can resist the impulse to lash out, curse, or react aggressively—even if they seem to deserve it.
There will be individuals who will inflict pain on you. You are not obligated to maintain a friendship, spend time together, or even acknowledge their presence. What truly matters is having the maturity to recognize they are not worth your frustration and to move forward with your day.
I am gradually grasping what it truly means to be the bigger person. I am learning to conduct myself with maturity, even when my instincts urge me to scream.