Chapter 1: Understanding the Paradox

"Men, as has been wisely observed, think in groups; they tend to lose their sanity en masse, but regain their clarity individually."

—Charles MacKay

Being from Michigan, the phrase "Detroit Vs. Everybody" that gained traction in 2012 struck a chord with me. My hometown and its beloved Lions often face significant criticism, a sentiment that might be deserved. However, coming from the west side of the state, I connected with the slogan not just because of Detroit, but due to my experience as an only child. Growing up, I felt that outside of my parents, no one was truly invested in my well-being, which fostered a certain defensiveness within me.

This "me against the world" perspective peaked during my senior year of high school. I walked into my guidance counselor's office, a man who had only spent a total of 15 minutes with me throughout my years at school, and he suggested I apply to Bowling Green State University solely because he had enjoyed his time there and felt it was a suitable option for me. Something about his recommendation felt off, even to my confused 17-year-old self. I trusted my instincts.

Were my grades stellar? No. I was often disengaged in class, preoccupied with writing song lyrics, and I lacked the personal attention necessary for someone to really understand my motivations and aspirations. If you had asked my teachers or coaches what kind of person I wanted to become, they likely wouldn't have had an answer. This lack of engagement was particularly disappointing given that I attended an expensive and prestigious Catholic school, which should have prioritized this kind of personal connection. During this time, I found solace in repeatedly listening to Lauryn Hill's The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.

This absence of personalized education is a significant issue today; schools have increasingly become assembly lines for learning. Even well-regarded classical institutions often operate in this manner. No curriculum can remedy this cultural problem. The casual, thoughtless nature of my counselor’s advice unsettled me, leading me to realize how seriously I had considered his suggestion for a brief moment. I felt insecure and unsure of my path.

He was unaware of the profound impact he had on my life at that moment. I remember returning home, sitting on my bed, and thinking, "I must escape this place, and fast." I briefly contemplated taking a bus to New York City before graduation but reconsidered upon realizing my financial constraints and the harsh realities of living on the streets.

This desire to leave wasn't a rejection of my parents; I had a good relationship with them. Instead, it was an overwhelming urge to embark on a risky adventure, to explore the unknown. The world felt vast, and I was confined to a limited space. I yearned for a challenge that no one else seemed willing to provide.

This longing occurred in 1999. I felt compelled to embark on a significant journey, fearing that if I didn’t, I would remain trapped in the mediocrity of my school. If a compelling role model had ever been introduced to me, I would have been willing to commit to a transformative journey.

Embarking on this journey requires separating from familiar groups, whether temporarily or permanently, to navigate the transformative phase of life. Understanding this transition is crucial for living a fulfilling life. It's through this tension that we discover our true selves.

Section 1.1: The Journey of Separation

There exists a process where an individual disconnects from a group, ventures into the unknown, and experiences transformation—not merely during the journey but as a result of it. This was once known as a rite of passage; today, it is often viewed as apostasy. In modern society, those who undergo profound change, emerging unaffected by societal movements, are often labeled as traitors or outcasts. The spirit of partisanship is increasingly pervasive.

While being part of a community is essential for our flourishing, our perception of those groups can be misguided. It is only through the journey that we can accurately discern who we are and what truly matters. Our usual dividing lines—often echoed in media or social platforms—are misleading. We live in a time characterized by rising anxiety, deteriorating health, and shallow comforts such as social media. Most individuals have never faced true challenges, leaving many uncertain of their courage.

I contend that our culture lacks a shared belief in traditional rites of passage. Religious ceremonies and adolescence, which once guided young people into adulthood, often fail to provide the necessary foundation for growth. College is frequently seen as a four-year social event rather than a pathway to success. Many adults feel trapped in unfulfilling jobs, unable to cultivate meaningful relationships.

The prevalence of terms like "LARP'ing" (live-action role-playing) reflects a detachment from reality, as if people are merely performing roles in a game, devoid of genuine change. This skepticism towards transformation has become a significant cultural characteristic. When someone undergoes a noticeable change—whether in political views, cultural shifts, or religious beliefs—people often question its authenticity, assuming ulterior motives. This skepticism undermines the potential for genuine personal metamorphosis, which has been recognized across cultures as crucial for growth.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Need for Authentic Change

Chapter 2: The Personal Journey

I have undertaken many solitary journeys throughout my life. I left Michigan for college in New York City, an experience that ultimately failed to fulfill me and merely integrated me into an unreflective crowd. I transitioned from a stable job to launching multiple companies, yet I found myself feeling empty by my late twenties.

At age twenty-nine, sensing stagnation, I left a relationship and the life I built to explore the wilderness and reconnect with a faith I had lost. This journey led me to a period of vocational discernment in Italy. Recently, I faced the unexpected and painful loss of a parent, forcing me to confront realities I'd previously ignored. Currently, I am preparing to become a parent, as my wife Claire is expecting.

I don't present myself as someone who has mastered these transformative rites; rather, I have stumbled more than I have triumphed. However, I am gradually moving past the confusion that once enveloped me. I have recognized that the path I was on led nowhere meaningful, and more importantly, that it wasn't a path at all.

The belief that "people don't change" is a cynical notion gaining traction in our society. While it may seem that people are becoming more entrenched in their views, this does not negate the possibility of change. The core issue lies in the overwhelming volume of content we are bombarded with daily. This content, while abundant, rarely facilitates genuine transformation. Real change occurs through lived experiences and meaningful encounters.

As John Henry Newman remarked, “The heart is commonly reached not through reason, but through the imagination, by means of direct impressions, by the testimony of facts and events, by history, by description.” Rites of passage are essential because they encapsulate these experiences, which serve as catalysts for change. The structure of our lives holds more significance than the content we consume.

The first video, Crystal Peak Hoopa Battle, Aklove Fight, & Marlon Fight, illustrates the battles faced along the path of growth, demonstrating personal struggles against external challenges.

The second video, Raid Boss Giratina Battle in Pokemon Unbound, serves as a metaphor for confronting our fears and emerging victorious through trials.

I now view the "Versus Everyone" slogan with a different lens—not because it lacks truth, but because it encapsulates a deeper reality: there are moments we must face alone, and at times, it may feel as though the world conspires against us.

Even within Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring, there exists a camaraderie; however, certain trials are solely Frodo’s to bear. The struggle is not simply "Man Against Mass Society," as Gabriel Marcel noted; rather, the "Me Versus Everybody" mindset threatens the very fabric of society, as it undermines our individual lives. We are inherently relational beings, thriving within communities, yet we must also strive to become our true selves. This paradox of life—navigating the tension between individuality and collectivity—poses one of the most profound metaphysical questions of our time.